how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
