idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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