Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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