We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
