addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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