just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
