There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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