So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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