I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
