Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
barbara walters just said penis...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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