i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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