Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
