the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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