She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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