He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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