I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
