He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
