i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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