There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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