i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
