I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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