i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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