I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
