I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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