Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
