yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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