eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
high people should be assigned attendants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Who died my cat blue again?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
