It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
