Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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