I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
