Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
