im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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