Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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