Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
