I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
