What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
