Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize