I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
