we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize