my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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