He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
