I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
