dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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