I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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