i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
