I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
