white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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