We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
