just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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