Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
