hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
ttyl tear gas
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
