i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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