Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
