Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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