**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
