I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
