We're like a lot better than the average bears
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
