hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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