Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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