you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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