Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
