U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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