Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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