its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
