We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
