he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
