rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Randomize