The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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