This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
