the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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