I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There's even glitter on my cock...
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