Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just gift wrapped bread.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
