im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize